Do you ever “lose it” on your kids, or your spouse and wonder, “How did things end up like this AGAIN”? Did you know your body gives you cues about when you are about to blow?
Two of the most common questions I ask my clients are, “What feelings are you having right now?” and “Where do you feel it in your body?”
Noticing your feelings and body cues can tip you off to when you need to push the “pause button” on a situation. Some people feel a tightness in their chest when they are getting angry. Others get a pit in the stomach when they are afraid.
What do you notice about your body when you are sad, lonely, hurt, angry, or feel shame?
When you notice that body sensation, ask yourself, ‘What do I need right now?” By paying attention to your body and its way of notifying you of distress, you can move away from” losing it” and give yourself what you need, or reach out to a safe person.
Do you need rest? Food? Connection? To be heard or understood?
Being able to listen to your feelings and your body messages is called emotion regulation. Being able to calm down and ask for what you need with words instead of screaming makes you a much safer person in your relationships. Try it! See if you notice yourself “losing it” a lot less.
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